What if you are the 33.3%?

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a debilitating and crippling mental illness that has proven extremely difficult to treat using strictly conventional psychotherapy and pharmacological methods. Well-known symptoms include flashbacks, loss of interest in activities, violent outbursts and hyper-vigilance, but symptoms vary from person to person and also include dissociation, exaggerated startle response, sleep disturbances, reckless & self-destructive behaviour, avoidance, and changes in mood and memory. While recovery seems to be dependent upon early intervention, an estimated 1/3 of suffers never fully recover.1 

Post-traumatic stress disorder is known to affect certain populations more than others: refugees, aboriginals, first responders and women.2 While the reasons behind why the disorder is higher in women is unclear, it is likely due to the nature of the trauma. Women are more likely to experience PTSD as a result of sexual assault, whereas men are more likely to develop PTSD as a result of combat. 

I have had the privilege to work, throughout the span of my career as a CranioSacral Therapist, with many patients suffering from PTSD: veterans from all of the wars since WWII that North America has been involved with, survivors of sexual assaults, domestic violence, victims & witnesses of traumatic events & accidents. Each individual experiences trauma in their own personal way and yet the impact that it has upon their lives, and the lives of those around them, is undeniable. For that 1/3 of the population who never fully recover, having post-traumatic stress disorder isn’t something they can just “get over”. It weaves itself into the fabric of daily living and decides to stay.

In the allopathic medical community the primary treatment of PTSD is trauma-centred psychotherapy and medication; typically serotonin reuptake inhibitors or serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors. Coupled with a high drop-out rate and numerous side-effects of the medication, few patients continue with this treatment and the number of patients who turn to self-medicating with alcohol and drugs is large. Other options for treatment include: prolonged exposure therapy, cognitive processing therapy, eye movement desensitization & reprocessing, imagery rehearsal, brief psychodynamic therapy and hypnosis, in combination with different anti-depressants and sleeping pills. Family counselling is also recommended to help the family cope with the impact that PTSD has on their lives.

But where do you go if these treatments don’t help? 

This is the question I had in mind when I set out to research alternatives to mainstream treatments for post-traumatic stress disorder. Where do you go when you are the 33.3%? Are you slated to spend the rest of your life, frozen in some moments, over-reactive in others, stuck in a constant rollercoaster ride of fight or flight? There has to be something more. 

And it turns out there is, and it’s called Acupuncture. 

Acupuncture

Acupuncture has its foundations within ancient Chinese practices, with some estimations of its existence being recorded as early as 100,000 years ago.³ It is a practice of balancing the body’s energy, or Chi, in an effort to support health and wellness, and the prevention and treatment of disease. Chi is thought to run through the body by the way of meridians and each meridian is linked to the traditional Chinese version of an organ. Each organ corresponds to a season, an element, emotions, and specific senses, and each meridian has several points along its channel that have a specific action upon that organ. The movement of energy, or Chi, between these meridians is continuous. Disease is thought to occur when the flow and quality of Chi becomes deranged, resulting in an imbalance between Yin and Yang, or the two energies that hold nature in balance. 

Acupuncture is traditionally performed by detecting which acupuncture points need to be needled, in an effort to promote the smooth flow of Chi and restore health. This can be accomplished in a variety of ways and may include tongue and pulse diagnosis, general observation and a thorough case history. While the functions of the acupuncture points are diverse and specific to the particular organ associated with that channel, they also exhibit an overall effect on Chi throughout the body. These points may be more sedating or more stimulating. The manner in which needles are inserted into these points, the reasons behind why they are selected, and stimulation, post-insertion, all affect how Chi will respond. 

The mechanism of action behind acupuncture is not completely understood. There are several theories, including beta-endorphin release, calcium ion involvement, opioid peptide and other neural signalling involvement, but as it stands the mechanism is still unknown.4 That being said, acupuncture has often proven itself to be more than a placebo effect in many randomized control trials, has a history of successful use spanning thousands of years, and is a generally accepted practice within the medical and non-medical field. And according to the research out there, it works as a treatment for classical symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. In fact, it works just as well as cognitive behavioural therapy in reducing the intensity and frequency of flashbacks, insomnia, hypervigilance, mood & memory disturbances, etc. While there are some limitations to the research studies and more studies need to be done before I would suggest it as a treatment on its own, the research that is out there makes a strong case for using it in combination with cognitive behavioural therapy and medication. The beauty of this treatment combination is that  Naturopaths are trained in both cognitive behavioural therapy and acupuncture, which means that the therapies can be performed simultaneously, saving time and money.

So if you’re struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder, or if you’re unfortunate enough to be a part of the “33.3% club” consider adding acupuncture into your treatment plan. The benefits could be life changing. I know they were for me. 

If you wish to read the entire review paper on acupuncture and ptsd, please contact me.

All My Relations,

Mandy

References:

1. Medscape 

2. Canadian Mental Health Association.[Internet]. British Columbia. 2012 [cited October
2015]. Available  from: https://www.cmha.bc.ca/get-informed/mental-health-information/
ptsd 

3. Xinnong C, editor. Chinese Acupuncture and Moxibustion. Beijing China. Foreign
Languages Press. 2010.

4. Yang ES, Li P-W, Nilius B, Li G. Ancient Chinese medicine and mechanistic evidence of
acupuncture physiology. Pflugers Archiv. 2011;462(5):645-653.

Why I Probably Won’t Teach You To Do Energy Work

I completed my Level 3 Reiki training in 2006. Originally I had only signed up to complete Levels 1 & 2, but on the final day, during our attunements, my Reiki Master looked at me with surprise and said, “I have to give you Level 3 as well. The guides are telling me that you are supposed to have it.” I remember thinking “How lovely!” and, “I have no idea what that means but I’ll take it”. I had been practicing CranioSacral Therapy and Massage Therapy for about 2 years prior to taking my training and was already using my own, innate, version of energy work but thought I might be missing something. I wondered if I shouldn’t be incorporating a more structured, systematic way of working with energy. Having received several Reiki treatments myself, I decided to try it out and see if it would help me channel and structure my abilities.

Over the years I’ve rarely used Reiki in the way it was taught to me. I realized that I didn’t need to channel or structure my gifts and forged ahead doing energy work the way I always have, in a manner that is innate to who I am. Interestingly enough I’ve been trying to complete my Master Reiki level for years because, if you know me, you know that I can’t stand to leave things unfinished. It drives me nuts. Every time I go to complete my training something comes up and I’ve never completed it. A Master level in Reiki allows you to be able to teach, to pass along, the rituals and methods for performing Reiki. It took me up until this summer to realize two very strong reasons why I haven’t been able to complete my training:

 

1. I don’t actively practice Reiki

2. I’m not meant to teach energy work.  

When you study and learn Reiki, you learn that prior to recent times, it was a secretive and selective group of people who practiced Reiki. The art of Reiki was passed along, Master to student, and all of the symbols and teachings were considered very sacred and only shared with those whom the Master felt to be worthy. As a newbie in the Reiki circles, I didn’t understand this. Having an innate ability to work with energy, to communicate with spiritual beings, and to help with others’ healing, I didn’t understand why information such as this would have been kept a well-guarded secret. I naively assumed that gifts, such as mine, were available to anyone who was open to the possibility of such things and that everyone should have access to various types of energy training. I innocently thought that others thought/think as I do and that purity of spirit & mind would prevail, that others would be able to handle the consequences of performing energy work, that they would use their newfound skills for a higher purpose. It didn’t take me long to realize that I was wrong. I quickly discovered how naïve my thinking was and over the years have had many, many, encounters that have reaffirmed the need for selectivity in training people to work with energy.

You can but you shouldn’t.

It’s true that people, whom are not innately gifted with the ability to do so, can learn to work with energy. As a skill it’s something you can to learn to do. You can train to become more grounded, more focused, more open, and more aware. In fact there’s an entire cultural movement devoted to this very thing and an industry that is growing daily to help people in their pursuit of New Age healing, understanding, and growth. People are taking courses on everything from Tarot Card readings to Energy healing and they leave these courses often feeling inspired, excited and more powerful than before. (Notice how I said more “powerful”? I’ll come back to that point later.) As a skill, energy work can be taught, but this doesn’t mean that it should be taught to everyone.

The practice of energy work can be taught, but the art of energy work is a gift, and you can’t teach a gift.

Dabbling in things that seem interesting and exciting without having a solid understanding of what it is you are dabbling in opens you up to a whole myriad of problems; problems that can, literally, haunt you for years; problems that can destroy your life and the lives of others. Knowledge without understanding is a very dangerous thing and often people practicing energy work are unaware of the depth of influence they have in that moment.

You Think You Do, But You Don’t

"Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required."^{[Luke 12:48]}

I can’t count the number of times, over the years of working with patients throughout their healing journeys, that I have heard the words, “I wish I had the gifts you have”. Each and every time a patient or friend has uttered these words to me something interesting happens inside –
I cringe. I get nauseous. Now I’m not going to deny for one second that I love my gift. I don’t deny that I absolutely and passionately adore helping people heal, helping them to grow deeper, and to develop a stronger appreciation for the spiritual aspect of life. I love it with every fiber of my being. It’s who I am. But there is a dark side to having a gift like mine and my usual response to such comments has been to say, “No. No you don’t.” “You really don’t. It’s not all roses.”

Sometimes my gift is overwhelming; sometimes it is debilitating, and heartbreaking. There are times, after working on others that I get extremely ill. There are days that I feel pain and sorrow so deeply and in each fiber of my being that I can’t breathe. There are nights when I can’t sleep and days where the line between the physical and spiritual realm becomes so blurred that I question my sanity. Over the years, because of my experiences, I’ve learned my limits, learned how to stay more grounded. I’ve learned to fearlessly trust my gift and to be passionately grateful for the family and friends in my life who understand and accept me. And over the years, I’ve learned to be extremely thankful that I’ve been able to learn these things because let me tell you, I’ve seen many a gifted energy worker struggle with and be unable to adjust to the strength of his/her gift. I’ve seen them consumed and tormented by it. No my friends, it is not all roses.

But it is a gift.

I have a gift.

But each and every one of you also has your own very special gift. Mine is spiritual, energetical, and maybe yours is too. It may be completely different though, and it is so important to find your own strengths, your own gifts, and to cultivate them. Denying your own strengths, saying they aren’t “important enough”, they aren’t “unique” enough, they aren’t “mystical enough”, is denying the truth and beauty of who you are. So stop coveting and start cultivating. You may think you want my gift but you probably don’t.  

Power

I told you we’d get back to it!

By definition the word, power, when used as a noun, means “the ability to control people or things”.¹  Power, is one of the most frightening and disturbing things I often encounter when talking to those performing energy work. This is not a pitfall that only people new to the work encounter, this is a pitfall that so many of us fall into and it’s so easy to become trapped in our need to “prove” ourselves. Ego says, “Look at me. Look at how amazing I am”. It says, “Let me tell you how amazing I am. Let me show you how I can fix you. Let me tell you all about your traumas and your future so that you will worship me and know my power.” Ego loves power, and when Ego rules an energy session the true purpose for healing gets lost. A session ruled by Ego no longer serves the patient’s higher purpose or best interest but the practitioner’s need to be special, to be right, to be powerful. When Ego rules the session, all sense of neutrality goes out the proverbial window and the session becomes about the therapist.

Power is not the way to true healing, yet unfortunately, in so many of those pursuing instruction in energy healing, power has become god. Power has become universally synonymous with importance and hey, who doesn’t want to be important? But as my mother has always reminded me, each and every one of us is important not because of what we can do, nor because of how intelligent we are or how rich we are, no each one of us is important because we are unique, because we were created to be special, because we were created in God’s image. Through creation, and grace, we are important, and nothing we can say, do, or accumulate can ever trump that level of importance. Nothing. If we can keep our Ego in check and remember that healing occurs through us and not because of us, then beautiful things can be achieved. If we can’t, then healing sessions become a method of manipulation, they become a dumping ground for the therapist’s own traumas, and they can add more trauma to an already traumatized patient.

When you perform energy work you walk the line between different realms and it’s a very, very, fine line. It’s a challenge to stay grounded in the physical realm, to keep your ego in check, to ensure you are able to clear any energies you pick up along the way. A session must always be about the patient’s best interest, about their safety, about their issues.

Energy work is sacred and because it’s sacred I won’t be teaching you how to do it. I’ll talk to you about the Ethics behind energy work (of which I’m super passionate about), I’ll talk to you about ways to help you ground yourself, to help clear yourself. I’ll gladly work with you through your healing journey and I’ll be your liaison between realms, but I won’t teach you how to do what I do. I won’t teach you and it’s not because I’m elitist, it’s because I hold it sacred, I honor my gift and the burden that it brings with it. No, even if I could I wouldn’t teach you my gift. You already have your own gift: find it, cultivate it, honor it and I can guarantee that a lot of the answers you’re looking for from me, you’ll find you already know, because once we align with who we are to be, all that is old falls away.

All My Relations,
Mandy

1. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/power

The Other Side of Silence

On July 8, 1982, the House of Commons unanimously adopted a motion that “Parliament

encourages all Canadian police forces to establish a practice of having the police regularly lay charges in instances of wife beating, as they are inclined to do with any other case of common assault.”¹ This motion was initially greeted with “laughter and jeers.”²

- Excerpt from A Domestic Violence Handbook¹

What does it take to create a revolution?

I am troubled by these thoughts.

In 2013 the World Health Organization (WHO) determined that 1 in 3 women worldwide will be subjected to physical and/or sexual violence at the hands of their partner.² In Canada alone, 51% of women aged 16 and older have experienced at least one incidence of physical or sexual violence, with family violence accounting for almost 30% of all violent crimes reported to the police.³

The statistics are terrifying. As a woman and a survivor of domestic abuse I am included in those statistics. Somewhere, on a graph is a line, a bar, or a slice of pie that represents me. Somewhere, someone with a computer pushed a button and I became a number. And while numbers are very valuable and can tell a story, numbers can’t tell my story,

or your story,

or the story of the person sitting next to you.

Numbers can tell us that most victims of domestic violence are women.⁴ They can tell us that women are:

• 3  -times more likely to report being sexually assaulted, beaten, choked or threatened with a gun or a knife
• nearly 2.5 times more likely to report higher rates of injury caused by abuse
• 1.5 times more likely to report multiple experiences of abuse³

Numbers can tell us that if you are an Aboriginal, First Nations woman, the likelihood of you experiencing domestic violence doubles.

DOUBLES.

If you are an Aboriginal, First Nations woman, you also have a higher percentage of physical injuries and consistently experience the most severe forms of violence.⁴

Numbers can also tell us that the highest rates of intimate partner violence involve young women, age 24-34, who are dating.⁴ And that if you are self-identified as lesbian or bi-sexual, then you report significantly higher rates (20.8%) of violence by a partner than if you identify as heterosexual (6.1%).⁴

Men have numbers too, and while most victims of domestic violence are women that doesn’t mean that men are immune to intimate partner abuse or that their stories any less significant. In fact, 20% of victims of domestic violence in Canada are men.⁵

So you see, numbers can tell us a lot of things but they’re only a part of the story. The rest of the story is what lies on the other side of silence.

In 1982, the other side of silence was laughter and jeers. It was also an epic win for women’s rights, for human rights. Someone, somewhere was brave enough to say, “this is not acceptable”, and somebody else agreed, and a dialogue was started, and then a revolution. In 1982 I was 5 years old and in Grade 1. Mrs. Smith was my teacher and a boy named Aaron gave me a valentine that read “I Love You”.

As the years passed and I progressed from elementary school to high school, and even into University, domestic violence wasn’t really talked about. We had presentations about the perils of drinking and driving, and about accepting people with disabilities. We had awkward conversations in Sex Ed classes that focused on the actual mechanics behind sex, and it was mentioned that No means No, but intimate partner abuse wasn’t even discussed. My education surrounding domestic violence was solely gained through conversations with my mother, my friends, or what I gleaned from the 6 o’clock news or movies. My understanding was that if you were abused, you had bruises; you had broken bones. I thought you wore makeup and dark glasses to cover the bruises. I thought you were most likely to be abused by your husband and when that happened, he would be drunk. I never knew that, while all of that is possible and happens, other things are possible too. I learned that the hard way.

I think the most difficult part of intimate partner abuse is the psychological component. Bruises and bones heal. Sometimes they heal in a way that they leave a physical scar. They are visible. People can see them, and know that they’re real, that the abuse is real, that something is wrong. Other people can see them. You can see them. The sexual, psychological and verbal components of abuse are different. The scars they leave are marked with invisible ink. They don’t leave physical scars, the leave soul scars.

When I first started group therapy through Victim Services I heard many, many stories about the physical trauma others had experienced. Some of it I could relate to and some of it I couldn’t. We would watch videos on different types of abusers (who knew there were so many variations?) as part of our discussions, and I would sit back and quietly marvel at the strength of these women who suffered under their wrath. I would silently wonder where I fit in and actually started to consider that maybe my situation wasn’t so bad. One day one of our leaders, a man, (which is a rarity in women’s groups I’m told) put a video on for us to watch. He premised it by saying that “out of all the types of abusers, if he had to pick one that disturbed him the most, it would be this one”. I steeled myself in preparation, and as he pressed play I watched my life unfold in a screenplay. I sat there stunned. He looked at me and said, “Does that look familiar?”

He knew.

He understood about the psychological hell I had been living and what surprised me the most, the absolute most, is that the other women in the group looked at me with shock and horror, with pain and empathy, and for that moment my experience was the worst in that room.

I’ve since learned that there is a term for the manipulation, the verbal abuse, the psychological warfare that can play out in domestic violence. It’s called “Crazy-making Behaviour” and having been subjected to it is likened to being a prisoner of war. “Crazy-making Behaviour” is labeled such because it leaves the victim feeling as though they are crazy, something I can personally attest to. It’s also known as “Gas-lighting”.

This term comes from the 1938 stage play Gas Light, in which a husband attempts to drive his wife crazy by dimming the lights (which were powered by gas) in their home, and then he denies that the light changed when his wife points it out.⁶

There are many techniques an abuser can use to “gaslight” their partner, but the ultimate goal is to make what was once thought to be real, unreal, and the unreal, real. Methodically and strategically a strong, independent, intelligent, person can be broken down, piece-by-piece, and reassembled into someone who only vaguely resembles his or her former self. The fact that a “sincere person is willing to contemplate being in the error”⁷ only makes this form of emotional abuse more insidious. 

In my case it started out with small things: comments and questions disguised as sarcasm, even humour. Little things that hurt, a bit, but I didn’t take them seriously. Over time those small things grew into big things until, one day, I couldn’t remember who I was, or what I believed. If I said the sky was blue, he would say no it’s not it’s pink. If I mentioned that I liked a song on the radio he would turn the station. If something he did or said upset me and hurt me, or made me angry, then my expression of that emotion was “cute”. I was told I was over-reacting, over-thinking or over-analyzing things. I was too sensitive. Nothing I wore was “right”, nothing I said was “right” and certainly nothing I did was “right”.  If I changed to try to appease him then he changed the rules. I felt like I was constantly trying to play catch-up. It was a game I could never win. I had never been so confused in my entire life. I felt crazy. And that’s exactly what he wanted. Bit by bit he broke me down until it was next to impossible to make my own decisions. I had become a prisoner of war and I was fighting for my life. My soul was dying. I was dying. And while this part, and/or type, of abuse, has been sometimes labeled the silent killer, there’s nothing silent about it. The silence is in the not talking about it.

So how do we start a revolution?

One of the first things people often ask a survivor when he/she is sharing their story of intimate partner abuse is “Why did you stay?” I understand why they ask this question, and it’s important to understand the reasons for staying, but it’s the wrong question.

The right question is “How did you get out?”

Which was the first question my therapist asked me after I shared my story.

“How on earth did you ever get out?” 

Each of us has our own story, our own journey, through hell and back. The reasons why we stayed and how we got out are different, but we are united by the scars that mark our souls. And it's time we started showing our battle wounds. 

So how do we start a revolution?

By talking about it.
By sharing our stories.
By stepping into our power.

By shining a light on the darkness.

By moving to the other side of silence.

All My Relations,
Mandy

References

1. A Domestic Violence Handbook For Police Services and Crown Prosecutors in Alberta, Prepared by: Alberta Justice and Solicitor General Alberta Crown Prosecution Service Updated: February 2014

2. http://www.who.int/reproductivehealth/publications/violence/9789241564625/en/

3. http://www.cawes.com/about-us/statistics

4. http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/sfv-avf/info/fv-problem-eng.php

5. Component of Statistics Canada catalogue no. 85-002-X Juristat Family violence in Canada: A statistical profile, 2011 by Maire Sinha Canadian Centre for Justice Statistics Re leased on June 25, 2013

6. http://www.thehotline.org/2014/05/what-is-gaslighting/

7. http://www.abuseandrelationships.org/Content/The_Con/gaslighting.html

Verbal Abuse photo used with permission from AWARE Singapore    www.aware.org.sg/